#2: How Can I Learn to Love the Darker Months of the Year?
What Prompted This Question?
I start dreading shorter days early in August. Yes really! At the height of the holiday season, I already feel a sense of foreboding setting in. I'm still up with the lark but he's starting to have a lie in. And with each passing day there's a little less daylight. By the end of August the moon is in the sky well before nine o' clock. And I know, for certain, that over the next few months, it's only going to get worse. Much worse!
For I'm absolutely besotted by light. I love being outside and having my home awash with sunbeams. My interior walls are painted white specifically to reflect them. I once worked with someone who adored the onset of winter and the darkness that it brings. She decorated her room in muted, gloomy colours because she felt that this was cosy. That puzzled me.
Of course, in my heart of hearts, I know that there are groups of people out there who have a preference for each of the seasons, even the darker and chillier ones. And that gives me hope. For if they are finding something to love about the times of year that I'm not so keen on, perhaps I can go to town with some of their ideas. Could I, at least, learn to love the darker months of the year just a little bit?
Let's Dive Deeper
So, what do people who actually like the darker months know that I don't? Yes, of course, I'm going to start with the Danes and that hygge stuff that starts being banded about as autumn comes upon us. It's usually translated as something like cosiness but it's really about creating a warm atmosphere and enjoying simple things with the people that you care about.
And I have to say that I've embraced some of it. I love sitting by my log burner under my heated blanket with a cup of cocoa and a scented candle on the go. But I don't want to spend the whole winter hibernating. I like being outside too much for that.
So I've scratched around and found another idea from our Scandinavian friends that I like even more. 'Friluftsliv' isn't a novel piece of lighting from IKEA. Rather it's the Norwegian word that roughly means 'open-air life'. It describes an appreciation of spending time outdoors regardless of the season or weather.
Now I love a walk or bike ride on a crisp winter day. Our town and the coastal landscape around it are quite different when most of the tourists have gone home and I embrace this. I'll also have a dip in the sea when the temperature drops. No, I'm not one of those hearty souls who are still wearing their cozzies in January. Neoprene is a fine invention for keeping out the chill and you'll find me clad head to toe in it when I'm in the waves during the colder months. I also love tending the allotment when growth slows. It's a time that I can prep the soil, keep on top of the weeds and manage my compost piles.
What I'm not so keen on are endless soggy days even though I have good waterproof gear. I'm going to have to get my head around enjoying those a bit more. Maybe I never will and those are the times to embrace being inside.
Which brings me to acceptance. There's an item on my wish list that it might be a good idea to get around to reading soon, before the darkness looms large. While Katherine May's book 'Wintering' uses winter as a metaphor for those periods in life when things slow down, become difficult or don't go according to plan, I'm literally dealing with winter and the fading light. But nature doesn't fight its way through this season pretending that it's summer. Trees lose their leaves, animals retreat and the whole landscape changes pace. That's how it is.
So perhaps it's more about accepting the loss of light, rather than spending the whole time wishing that the sun rose at 4am and set at 10pm all year round. It's not going to happen and it's about time I got used to it!
Maybe cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can teach me another way of approaching the darker months. There's an adaptation of CBT for seasonal affective disorder. The symptoms of this form of depression recur at particular times of year, most commonly during the darker autumn and winter months.
One of the techniques it uses is behavioural activation where enjoyable and engaging activities are deliberately scheduled during the difficult times of year. While I don't have full seasonal affective disorder I do get a bit fed up in autumn and winter. So there's something quite appealing about the idea about borrowing this from CBT to perk me up a bit.
This makes sense too when I look at it from an occupational therapy perspective. What we do is influenced by our environment. And of course those changes in season will affect what is meaningful at a given time of year. Perhaps I shouldn't be lamenting the loss of my summer occupations so much. Rather I need to think about which activities might work well with this season.
Something I've Noticed
So what might make these darker months a good time for me even if they never become my favourite?
One of the things that I already do is plan to have something to look forward to each month of the year. There's a Van Morrison concert at the end of October and a week later, into November, I'm staying in Plymouth to see Paul Heaton one night and then hosting a gathering at a friend's house for old work colleagues who live in the city. Tapas or mezze are on the cards and I'm excited about planning and preparing the menu.
Moving onto 2027, we've arranged a weekend away on Dartmoor with friends in January and a road trip in Spain starting in March. I've only got December and February where my monthly treat isn't scheduled. Maybe a day out at a spa would be good. There's lots around my home and quite a few have seasonal offers in the winter. And I could get myself into the festive mood by doing something Christmassy.
And there's a thing. For many reasons I haven't really enjoyed Christmas for years. But from now on it looks like we'll have a houseful to entertain. So perhaps I might get rid of my 'bah humbug!' tendencies and make it a bit more special, maybe by going to town on decorating the home or using the darker nights to make homemade presents. I've been wanting to embed more ritual into my life and maybe this will be a way of doing it.
And some of the things that I want to try really lend themselves to being indoors. So I could use those darker gloomy days to try papercutting and collage, resume jewellery making, learn video editing and take a course or two.
Perhaps that's part of the lesson here. Nature has its own timetable and, rather than trying to carry on as though it were still summer, I could pay a bit more attention to what the season is telling me. There are things to do at the allotment in winter, of course, but there are also times when the sensible thing is to come inside and hunker down.
After all, something may be wrong when you find a hedgehog outside in December. I did once. I know that they sometimes break hibernation but this was different. This poor thing was lying on the ground, half frozen Despite making him a home in a cosy box, it didn't work out well. When the natural world isn't following its usual rhythms it's often a sign that something is amiss. Perhaps I would benefit from taking a little more notice of those natural patterns myself.
What I've Found
Okay I brought the subject up so I better give you a bit more information from the horse's mouth, the official website of the Danish Tourist Organisation.
2. Staying in Scandinavia, this is what the Norwegian Tourist Organisation have to say about friluftsliv. It proves that they take this being outdoors stuff really seriously. It's even a degree subject
Some of you out there may struggle even more than I do because of the chaning seasons. So I've included this page from the US National Institute of Mental Helath that explains more about Seasonal Affective Disorder and treatment options include scheduling enjoyable activities inside and out.
4. I'm not an advocate of bothering every hedgehog that you see wandering around outside in the colder months. But here's some tips from the British Hedgehog Preservation Society on when you should leave our prickly friends alone and when you should step in and help.
Try This
If anything that I've said resonates with you here's some things that you might like to try. And if anything particularly works for you I'd love to hear what you've got up to.
Make a winter wish list of your own: Think broadly. The activities could be outside or indoors, old pastimes or things that you've been meaning to try. They might be social or solitary. They don't have to be particularly worthy. Catching up on that box set that you've meant to watch for some time is totally legit.
Put a least one thing to look forward to in the diary each month: This doesn't have to be a massive splurge. Check local media for events in your area, join an online webinar or arrange time with a friend you haven't seen in a while.
What could make the darker months more pleasant? Could you hunt out those blankets and candles to make your home a little cosier, create a space where you can pursue those indoor activities or making sure that your wardrobe is conducive to spending time outside when the weather is wild and woolly?
Look after the creatures that live outside your home so that they have a better chance of surviving the winter months: Put food out for the birds, leave wild areas in your garden so the animals have shelter and consider investing in a hedgehog house. I've put one on my Christmas list. Okay it may be too late for this year's hibernation season but I'm hoping to provide a cosy home for a prickly friend next autumn.
Consider whether your experience might be more than simply disliking winter: If you think that Seasonal Affective Disorder is a possibility seek help and advice from your healthcare professional. There are treatments that can help, including behavioural activation and light therapy, and antidepressant medication may also be recommended by a healthcare professional.
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