What Prompted This Question?

I was inspired to ask this when I went for a swim recently. It's the height of the holiday season here and our seaside town is buzzing with tourists. The cove where I normally hang out was busy, even though it was quite early in the day. Expensive yachts and cruisers were tied on the moorings and anchored just outside the conservation area, a habitat for seahorses.

“Look how the other half live,” said a fellow swimmer, a local woman enjoying a similar kind of retirement to my own.

I checked myself because I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t secretly harbouring the green-eyed monster. But honestly, I wasn’t. Nor was I judging the people enjoying themselves. I can appreciate the pleasure that having a beautiful boat and spending time in it must bring. What struck me was that I genuinely didn’t want what they had. The only thing that irritated me was the guy who was playing loud disco music and spoiling the peace!

I couldn’t have been happier just bobbing about in the waves. I’d gone there after doing some hard manual work and needed a swim to soothe my aching muscles. The simple act of floating felt grounding. I gave thanks that it was just what I needed at that moment. No expensive gin palace required!

Let's Dive Deeper

The relationship between money and happiness is complicated. Of course, having enough to meet your needs matters. If you're struggling to pay the bills, keep a roof over your head or feed your family it would be insensitive to suggest otherwise. For a brief time after my marriage broke down I was there myself living from one paycheck to the next. I know what it's like to scratch together pennies from the piggy bank to pay for something essential, like a pint of milk from the convenience store.

However if we are lucky enough to have our basic needs met, the relationship becomes more complex. We can easily slip into thinking that more money, possessions or experiences could be the route to happiness. And sometimes these things really can bring us joy. I'm thinking of how my life has been enriched by my motorhome, my 'Wendy house' on wheels. I've been so blessed by owning it. Some of the experiences on my wider travels are also moments I'll treasure forever. Like watching the eruption of Beehive Geyser at Yellowstone National Park with my son. That was an expensive holiday but so worth it.

The difficulty is that we can become caught in a cycle of constantly looking for the next best thing. We might jokingly call it 'retail therapy', but is this striving for the next purchase really good for our wellbeing?

One of the reasons why constant consumerism can become stale is something that psychologists call 'hedonic adaptation'. We become accustomed to improvements in our circumstances, and what once seemed exciting becomes commonplace. We then find ourselves seeking more and more, but that sense of anticipation and excitement becomes increasingly elusive.

This made me wonder about the super-rich. How do you treat yourself when you can afford pretty much anything that you want? Mo Gawdat, a wealthy former Google executive is an interesting example; He found himself getting more and more miserable as his wealth increased. At one point purchased two Rolls Royces on impulse and reallsed that the excitement waned after about twenty minutes! Thankfully, rather than continuing to acquire more and more he changed tack.

Being an engineer by training Gawdat decided to approach happiness using the tools of his profession. He began recording moments when he felt genuinely happy and looking for patterns. What he found was that happiness wasn't necessarily found in acquiring more and more stuff. Instead it was connected to whether our expectations are met or exceeded when something happens in our lives. When reality falls short of what we had hoped for that's when we feel discontent. Gawdat's research led to his idea of the 'Happiness Equation' which is described in his book 'Solve for Happy'.

Warren Buffett, the influential investor seems to have sussed this. While he is known for his frugality he has also said that he doesn't deny himself anything he wants. He takes his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren to Dairy Queen, the US fast food chain, because they all enjoy the food! He doesn't spend his money in a way that meets society's wider expectations of what a rich person should do with their wealth. Rather he spends it on what he genuinely values.

Of course, spending money can make our lives happier. But it's wise to think about what our financial decisions achieve. Are we spending because something genuinely adds meaning or pleasure to our lives? Or are we just spending for the sake of spending or to keep up with the Joneses?

Something I've Noticed

I look forward to receiving '321 Thursday', the weekly newsletter of James Clear, author of the inspirational bestseller, 'Tiny Habits'. Please subscribe if you don't already. It's such a treat.

Each week Clear shares three ideas, two quotes and a question to consider. Just as I was writing this this was one of his ideas.

"The measure of a life is not what you consume, but what you contribute.

Spend less time owning, consuming, taking. Spend more time giving, creating, making."

As I don't believe in pure coincidence I found this timely!

What I've Found

One of my superheroes is Robin Greenfield, an American environmentalist and activist who undertakes wacky experiments. His latest is living off foraged food for a year but his others have included limiting possessions, including the most extreme where he gave everything that he owned away. He was left sitting in a park in Los Angeles with just a large leaf covering his modesty.

Does this guy moan about lack? Absolutely not! His joy and enthusiasm is infectious. Go and look yourself. The links to his YouTube channel and website are here.

https://www.robingreenfield.org/

https://www.youtube.com/@Robin.Greenfield

And here's a book that I enjoyed listening to while I was weeding my allotment. 'The Art of Frugal Hedonism' by Australian writers Annie Raser-Rowland and Adam Grubb challenges the idea that pleasure and spending naturally go together. With backgrounds in horticulture and permaculture the authors explore how to forge an enjoyable life from activities that cost little or nothing. They argue that frugality doesn't have to go hand in hand with deprivation. Instead it can be a way of being intensely fulfilled.

The book combines theory with wonderful example of how this works in practice. What I particularly loved were the authors' personal examples of how they consumed less while enjoying life more. These show that by learning to relish what we already have, life can feel very rich indeed.

Try This

Treat yourself to a wonderful day off doing something that warms the cockles of your heart. But here's the catch. Make it a no-spend day too. Be creative and use what you already have to make your time special. Here are some ideas: to get you going.

• Crafting at home with simple things that you already have to hand. Even the humble toilet roll can be upcycled. Go to the Who Gives a Crap website for ideas

• Making a feast with things that you already have in your fridge, freezer and cupboards. Some of my meals with leftovers are the best. For starters here's some ideas from the BBC Good Food Magazine.

• Going for a walk locally to visit a well-loved place or find something new. Take photos on your phone with your discoveries. Here's a bee that I spotted on one of my strolls.

• Playing outside with children or a dog. Here's '20 Fun Ways to Play with a Stick' while you're out there.

• Have a pampering day at home for little or no cost. This is my favourite example that I found online. Even though it's from a website for us more mature ladies it'll work for any youngsters out there too.